SHEN YI MU took out the key from his pocket and opened the door to Jiang Yue’s apartment. They had been together for almost 10 years now, Jiang Yue’s place was almost like his own place. And the same could be said to his house.
He actually longed wanted for the two of them to live together. But because of the accident of his second brother and sister-in-law, he assumed the role of a guardian to his nephew five years ago. And Jiang Yue told him that it would not look proper if he lived together with them. It would also not be good if the Shen family found out about it.
Sometimes, he wished that he could just not care about everything. That way, he could easily shout in front of people how much he loved Jiang Yue. He even imagined sometimes that maybe he should have established his gaming company abroad. Then he would bring Jiang Yue with him after the other graduated. Then they didn’t have to worry about his family or be subjected to this country’s narrow views on same-sex love.
But being an adult didn’t work that way. He couldn’t just think about himself. Especially now that he had a kid to think about. He shook his head and just put those thoughts away.
Shen Yi Mu walked inside the apartment.
Jiang Yue asked him to go here because he wanted to talk about something. He didn’t think much and just thought that it might have something to do with his job. After all, Jiang Yue just got promoted to assistant professor recently.
He hoped that there wasn’t any problem. Jiang Yue was now working at their alma mater – T University – as an English Literature teacher. And just like he mentioned earlier, he just got promoted to assistant professor. Which was already quite a feat considering that he was only 28 years old. But being promoted at such a young age could also cause some problems.
There might be people who were jealous of him and might make things difficult for him. So, he brought Jiang Yue’s favorite dessert – a matcha cake. Of course, he would also do his best to cheer him up.
"Ah Yue! I’m here!" he called, walking towards the living room of the apartment.
Jiang Yue’s apartment was not that big. It had a single bedroom with a living room/dining room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. It was simple yet very homey and full of character. Anyone could immediately see that the owner put a lot of his thoughts decorating the place.
He and Jiang Yue had a lot of memories in this place. Memories that he would cherish forever.
The door of the bedroom opened and Jiang Yue walked out. Shen Yi Mu was startled seeing him. The other was obviously not in a good state. His face was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes.
He put down the box of cake on the small dining table and walked towards Jiang Yue. "Are you okay, Ah Yue?" he asked worriedly, touching his forehead to check his temperature. He was surprised to feel how cold the other was. "You’re cold. Let’s go to the hospital to have you checked, okay?"
He felt Jiang Yue’s body stiffened at the mention of ’hospital’. He stepped back and avoided his touch. "I’m fine," he said in a hoarse voice.
Shen Yi Mu immediately felt that something was wrong seeing Jiang Yue’s small actions. But he only attributed it to Jiang Yue’s mood. He probably was not feeling well. He remembered how the other had been complaining to him about having migraines.
"Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital?" he asked again.
"I told you, it’s fine."
Again, that ’wrong’ feeling filled him once again. But he could only shake it off and try to lighten up the mood. "Ah Yue, I brought your favorite matcha cake. Do you want to eat? I’ll give you a slice."
Jiang Yue shook his head. "No. Let’s talk, Brother Mu."
He walked towards the couch and sat down. He also asked Shen Yi Mu to sit on the opposite seat. Which he did.
"What do you want to talk about? Is it about work?"
"It’s not about that," Jiang Yue said. "I—" he stopped, gazing down as if he was trying to gather strength. "I want to break-up."
Shen Yi Mu felt like he just had an auditory hallucination. So, he just laughed it off. "Ah Yue, I don’t think I heard you correctly."
Jiang Yue raised his head and looked straight at him. "Let’s break-up."
Shen Yi Mu could no longer laugh. He couldn’t even tell Jiang Yue to stop with the prank. Because he could see in those apricot dark eyes that he was serious about what he said. He wanted to break-up with him.
Something just pierced his heart at that moment.
"Why?" he asked, his throat became extremely dry.
Jiang Yue looked out of the window, his eyes extremely distant. "I’m just tired. I don’t want to be in this kind of relationship anymore. Always afraid, always hiding. We couldn’t even hold hands out in the open. These past ten years took a lot out of me. I can’t continue on, Brother Mu."
That pierced part of Shen Yi Mu’s heart slowly widened as he listened. He stood up and kneeled in front of Jiang Yue. He held the other’s hands. "Ah Yue, it’s my fault. I didn’t do enough. I will do better from now on. I will go to my parents and tell them about our relationship. We will no longer hide our relationship. I will do everything you want me to. Just- just please don’t leave me. Hmm?"
His voice cracked at the end. But he no longer cared anymore. All he could think of was to prevent Jiang Yue from leaving.
"It’s not about that, Brother Mu." Jiang Yue gazed down at him. "I’m simply not happy anymore."
Shen Yi Mu was frozen on the spot. He couldn’t say anything back. The pain in his heart spread all over his body. It’s like he was being torn into pieces. He was so stunned that he didn’t even notice when Jiang Yue stood up.
"I will leave first. When I get back, I hope Mr. Shen would no longer be here."
When the other was about to walk towards the door, Shen Yi Mu hurriedly stood up and hugged Jiang Yue from behind.
"Ah Yue, p-please... I- I don’t want to break-up. I- I can’t live without you. Ah Yue... Ah Yue..."
He could feel something wet flowing down his cheek and he knew that he must be bawling like a baby. But the pain in his heart was so overwhelming that he no longer cared what he looked like right now.
"Don’t say that, Mr. Shen. There’s still a child depending on you. You can’t break down just because of someone like me."
As Jiang Yue said that, he removed the arms surrounding him and continued walking towards the door.
Shen Yi Mu tried to catch him again but before he could, Jiang Yue already walked out of the door. And the sound of the door closing coincided with the breaking of his heart.
After that day, Jiang Yue completely disappeared from his life.
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