Vaudevillain

Dylan went through work like always, keeping his mind on task and only daydreaming when he had nothing else to do. The amount of work to do swung from hectic to halting throughout the day as it always did. At the end, Dylan said goodbye to his coworkers and made his way back home.

He went through his normal routine before signing into World of Supers as Dr. Zlo. The thin villain manifested in his secret lair under the mansion, just in time to see two Jacques practicing a series of wrestling moves on each other. Two others stood to the side, acting as fans and occasional tag ins.

“Cease your frolicking!” Dr. Zlo shouted. “I have plans to announce!”

“Oh, yeah boss?” Cass asked.

“Are they any good?” Quartet asked under his breath.

“Of course they’re good!” Dr. Zlo said with a flourish. “After all, I am inventing them!”

Dylan stepped past Quartet, opening his power tab as he monologued.

“As you know, my last plan succeeded spectacularly! Those heroes didn’t know what hit them! And yet, despite my efforts, someone or something has come along and undone it all! The moon still sits in the sky! Heroes still wander about like the vile do-gooders they are! It isn’t right, I say!”

“Quite right, boss,” Cass said. “What are we going to do?”

“An apt question, Cass,” Dr. Zlo answered. He swung around. “One I have thought about extensively! The conclusion I came to is this: if I cannot erase the heroes, I shall have them join my side!”

“You gonna use Mabel then, boss?” Cass asked.

“Did I hear my name?” Mabel asked from upstairs.

“Boss wants to use you to control all the heroes!” Cass shouted.

“Now what’s he wantin’ to go and do that for?” Mabel asked. “He knows I can only do a few at a time.”

“I am getting to that!” Dr. Zlo exclaimed. “Cass! What have I said about jumping the gun?”

“You haven’t said anything about that at all, boss,” Cass answered.

“Don’t you use that kind of sass with me,” Dr. Zlo said.

“I wasn’t!” Cass protested.

“You were insinuating it,” Dr. Zlo scoffed. “No matter! I shall graciously forgive you.”

The villain spun. “My true plan is thus! I shall craft a grand invention that changes the very disposition of a hero! Those who insist on acting kindly, responsible, and all around nice shall, once struck! become cruel, reprehensible, and mean!”

Cass clapped. “Brilliant! Boss!”

Dr. Zlo twirled his mustache. Dylan typed the idea into his power tab, letting the creative AI craft a series of inventive ingredients.

The Morality Modifier!

A truly dastardly invention crafted by the great Dr. Zlo! This vile contraption converts the very essence of a person, making their morality the opposite of what it once was! Heroes becomes villains and saints become sinners once an item linked to the target is cast into the fires of the Morality Modifier! After a single minute, the person becomes changed and acts according to their new morality!

Sheep’s Clothing (1)

Heeled Shoe (1)

Facemask (1)

Wrestling Ring (1)

Boiler (1)

Phlebotinium (25g) or Sciencium (2500g)

“Yes!” Dr. Zlo cackled. “My genius is unbounded! Quick, Cass! Find me the nearest wrestling ring!”

“Why’s that boss?” Cass asked.

Dr. Zlo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Cass, I just finished an entire spiel on my newest invention. Why do you think I want a wrestling ring?”

“I dunno, boss. You’re the smart one,” Cass answered.

Dr. Zlo just waved a hand. “Oh, be on your way already!”

Cass saluted and left the lair. Dr. Zlo turned to Quartet. “You!”

“Yeah, boss?” Quartet asked.

“You must find me a heeled shoe and a facemask! I care not from where you get it, but it must be done post haste!”

Quartet scowled. “You’re sending me on a lousy fetch quest? Me? I’m worth so much more than that and you know it.”

“Silence! You shall do as you’re told!” Dr. Zlo commanded. “Or else you shall face my wrath!”

Quartet grumbled all the way out the door.

“Brunhilde!” Dr. Zlo shouted.

“Yez!” the maid answered.

“I need you to craft me a set of sheep’s clothing!” It is of vital importance that you finish before Cass and I return with the wrestling ring.”

Brunhilde answered with a salute, pulling a pair of knitting needles from a pouch in her apron. “Underztood!”

“Excellent!” Dr. Zlo marched up the stairs. “Mabel! You shall join Cass and I on our excursion to collect this wrestling ring!”

“Well, you won’t find me saying no,” Mabel said with a titter. “Anything for a chance to see some oiled up men.”

“I do believe you are thinking of the wrong kind of wrestling,” Dr. Zlo answered.

“Oh, you’re no fun,” Mabel said with a pout. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some attention around here.”

“I do not believe you’ve ever had any trouble in that department,” Dr. Zlo answered as he walked through his mansion. He called a Lug and an Egghead model of Jacques to follow, commanding them to craft more teams of Jacques for their excursion. Cass came back a moment later.

“I found three in the nearby city, boss,” the butler said. “Two are in a school, so security should be lax.”

“A school?” Dr. Zlo asked. “Are you saying there are schools for professional wrestlers?”

“I really don’t know, boss,” Cass said. “I have pictures if you’d like to see.”

Cass held up a picture of a gymnasium, an Olympic wrestling ring set up in the area.

“Not that kind of ring, you dolt!” Dr. Zlo chided. “We need the one with ropes on the sides!”

“Oh, then you’ll want this one,” Cass said. He held up a picture of a shoddy looking ring sitting in a discarded building at the outskirts of the city.

“Excellent!” Dr. Zlo said. “Get ready, Cass! We shall be off shortly!”

A message from Jack appeared as Dylan prepared.

JackOLeen:

You ready for some more tabletopping tonight?

Dylan paused. He’d completely forgotten to keep track of time! Lucky for him that Jack sent a message or everyone would have gotten onto him for being late.

“On second thought, something urgent has come up and I shall be indisposed for a time,” Dylan said as Dr. Zlo. “We shall start when I return!”

“You got it, boss!” Cass said as Dylan logged off.

Dylan jumped onto his computer, replying to Jack. He couldn’t let what she’d typed stand unchallenged.

Superfan39526:

Tabletopping? Really?

JackOLeen:

What? It’s a perfectly valid phrase.

Superfan39526:

I don’t know. It sounds a bit like a double entendre.

JackOLeen:

Gasp! What a dirty mind you have!

I never even thought of it in that way.

Shame on you.

Superfan39526:

Uh-huh.

Sure.

JackOLeen:

Hmm. Something about those texts make me think you are rather disbelieving.

Though I can’t seem to put a finger on why.

Are you unable to trust my innocence, good sir?

Superfan39526:

You’re the one who was telling me a bit ago about the ‘artistic’ play you were hired to set design for.

JackOLeen:

Okay you got me there.

I still don’t know what they were thinking with that.

I mean, I’m all for artistic expression but this was a lot closer to exhibitionism.

Superfan39526:

So you said.

Good thing you don’t have to worry about that in the game, right?

JackOLeen:

You totally just jinxed it.

We’re going up against giants, and now they’re all going to be naked cannibals that want to eat our faces.

Superfan39526:

I don’t think you can call it cannibalism if it isn’t eating your species.

JackOLeen:

No, it’s the correct term.

Don’t ask me how I know.

Superfan39526:

Well, now you know I gotta ask.

JackOLeen:

Hey now, you gotta wine and dine me a bit before going for the personal stuff.

Superfan39526:

Define a bit.

JackOLeen:

At least one sit down restaurant.

Pizza doesn’t count.

And it should probably have a cocktail list to try.

Dylan chuckled.

Superfan39526:

Oh, so some actual wining and dining.

He paused for a second before sending the next message.

Superfan39526:

I could do that.

He put his phone to the side and walked to his kitchen to grab a drink, his throat suddenly feeling dry.

“What am I doing?” He asked himself. “She lives like a million miles away.”

It didn’t stop him from checking his phone immediately after grabbing his drink.

JackOLeen:

Oh, you could, could you?

What, going to use some Dr. Zlo science to teleport us both?

Superfan39526:

I mean, planes exist.

And I’ve got vacation days.

Wouldn’t be too hard to do I think.

He didn’t get a reply for a bit, and Dylan wondered if he’d ruined it.

JackOLeen:

Okay.

Let’s make it a group meet with others though.

Just in case you turn out to be some kinda serial killer.

Not that I think you are!

Dylan laughed, the tension leaving him.

Superfan39526:

No I understand.

Okay cool.

Let’s plan a time with everyone then.

JackOLeen:

How does in a month or so sound?

Should give us all enough time to plan yeah?

Superfan39526:

For sure

For sure.

Sometime the first week of next month?

JackOLeen:

Let’s make it the second week just in case.

Superfan39526:

Sounds like a plan!

Dylan pumped a fist in excitement before falling onto his bed and laughing like an idiot.

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