SHEN JI YUN was confused at first. He wondered why his uncle suddenly wanted to tell a story when they were in the middle of an important conversation. And then he realized that his uncle said ’my story’ instead of a simple ’story’. That meant that he was going to tell him his experience. And this experience might affect his decision in pursuing Luo Yan.
"Is Uncle going to tell me your... love story?" he tentatively asked, because that’s the only kind of ’experience’ relevant to their current topic of conversation.
Shen Yi Mu looked at his nephew who seemed very reluctant to hear about his uncle’s love life. If he was in his shoes, he might also feel the same. It’s awkward talking about his experience on love with Ji Yun. But what could he do? This was the only way he could show Ji Yun the reality of what it meant to fall in love with someone of the same gender.
If he gave his own life experience as an example instead of that of a stranger, then Ji Yun would have a better sense of substitution. Ji Yun could simply put himself on his uncle’s shoes. That way, he would have a better understanding of the things that he might face in the future.
"Yes. So, you better listen carefully," he said, answering his nephew’s question.
"But has Uncle ever had a... significant someone?" Shen Ji Yun asked, a bit tangled. He wanted to say ’girlfriend’ but that might hit his uncle’s self-esteem more. So, he chose to just phrase it lightly.
Don’t blame him for asking. His uncle had been his guardian for more than a decade. Which meant that he had been living with him since that long. Even now that he’s already an adult and no longer need a guardian, he was still living with him. In that long duration of time, his uncle had never introduced a girlfriend to him.
Then, where did this ’love life’ come from?
Seeing the disbelieving expression on Ji Yun’s face, Shen Yi Mu almost stood up and smack his nephew at the back of his head. Did this kid think he was an old virgin with no romantic history?
Knowing how Ji Yun’s brain circuit worked, that was most probably the case. Once again, he resisted the urge to smack the kid.
"Of course, I have. You even met him too!" he said. When he saw his nephew’s even more confused face, he gritted his teeth and shouted, "It’s Jiang Yue!"
At the mention of that name, an image of an extraordinarily handsome man with a pair of apricot eyes flashed in his mind. Uncle Yue was a friend of his uncle who often stayed in this house in the past. But he suddenly stopped coming about seven years ago.
Then he was dumbstruck. Because he just realized what his uncle meant. Uncle Yue was his uncle’s lover!
Now he suddenly understood a lot of things that he had never noticed before. His uncle’s certain obsession with the character ’Yue’ – as evidence of the name of his company and even why he was grumbling to change the name of their team. Because it was the combination of Shen Ji Yun’s name and Uncle Yue’s name. Thinking of that, he suddenly wanted to facepalm. He couldn’t believe his uncle could be that childish.
Also, if he had looked more closely when Uncle Yue was interacting with his uncle, the he could have probably noticed the closeness of the two. Closeness that simply didn’t conform to that of a simple friendship.
But then again, even if he noticed, he probably would never think in that direction. He was too young and too busy being an anti-social that his EQ would probably not let him even remotely think that the two were in a relationship.
Wait- in a relationship! He seemed to by pass the most important thing. Both were men! Then that meant his uncle was...
"Uncle, you’re...?"
Shen Yi Mu didn’t need his nephew to finish what he’s saying because he already understood what he wanted to ask. "Yes, your dear uncle is gay," he admitted straightforwardly.
The fact that he was only attracted to the same sex, he had long realized it since he was in high school. At first, he was in a state of denial. After all, he grew up being thought that something like that was wrong and abnormal. Then he thought how his conservative family wouldn’t accept him. He became extremely scared after that.
So, he tried to ’rehabilitate’ himself by trying to date girls. But after a month, it always ended. The reason was always the same – that never seemed to be interested in them. He couldn’t even make himself hold their hand. But every time a girl broke up with him, another one would appear to confess. And he accepted it without thinking much about it.
It was a low move. And those girls didn’t deserve to be used like that just so he could satisfy his so-called ’masculinity’. But he was a confused kid who barely knew any better. He was scared. Afraid that he would be abandoned and isolated just because of his sexuality.
It was a long and hard battle before he was even able to accept himself. To fully accept that there was nothing wrong with him. And the one who helped him do that was Jiang Yue. If he didn’t meet him, he probably would still be in denial until now.
He told all that to Ji Yun.
Shen Ji Yun didn’t know how should react to everything that his uncle said. He was surprised, of course. But he also accepted it pretty quickly. Maybe because just like his uncle, he also fell in love with someone of the same gender.
He wasn’t sure if he was gay. After all, before Luo Yan, he had never been attracted to anyone – male or female alike. It was probably more accurate to say that he was gay for Luo Yan.
But he could understand his uncle’s struggle. Wanting to be accepted and yet unable to accept oneself, he could only imagine how hard it must have been for him.
"I want to know Uncle and Uncle’s Yue’s story," he said.
Shen Yi Mu grinned at his nephew. "Wasn’t that what I was about to do before you interrupted me?"
And then he started to tell the story of him and Jiang Yue.
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