Maybe a Fake Gintama

"A bet?" Kawaki glanced at Tsukuyo with a strange expression and then showed a face of disdain. "Hey, what's going on?"

"It's none of your business," Tsukuyo replied coldly, turning her face away.

"I see..." Kawaki squinted his eyes and smiled. "Then this leisure trip has nothing to do with me. Have fun."

"The departure time is tomorrow at 5 AM. Be prepared," Tsukuyo said, leaving the room without looking back.

"Hey, wait a minute," Kawaki called after her with a deadpan expression. "Didn't I just say it has nothing to do with me? Why are you telling me the time? I'm not going. No matter what you say, I'm not going!"

"Suit yourself..."

...

The following day, at dawn, Kawaki, still curled up in bed and snoring, suddenly felt a bone-chilling cold seeping through his blankets. His body shivered involuntarily, and he pulled the covers tighter around himself.

"Is the air conditioning... broken?" Kawaki grumbled, eyes still closed as he huddled up. "Seriously... in this weather..."

He suddenly sensed something off, a subtle sense of dissonance. Slowly opening his eyes, he found himself being held up in the air, blankets and all, by a group of Hyakka girls.

After a long silence, Kawaki took a deep breath.

"Where... am I?!" Kawaki jumped down, still wrapped in his blanket, glaring and grumbling. "What's going on?!"

"What's going on?" one of the Hyakka girls responded with confusion. "It's just a leisure trip..."

"So..." Kawaki gritted his teeth and spoke slowly, "What does your leisure trip have to do with me? Ha... ha... ha-choo! This freezing cold weather is just..."

Tsukuyo looked at the shivering, blanket-wrapped Kawaki with nothing but disdain in her eyes.

As Kawaki continued to shiver, he deadpanned, "Why are you looking at me with such contempt? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? The ones doing something wrong are you! You're the ones dragging someone out in this weather! And Tsukuyo, what did you bet on? Was the bet me? Was the prize to prank me like this in this freezing weather?! Give me a break!"

"Actually, the boss is..."

One of the Hyakka girls began to explain but was abruptly cut off by Tsukuyo.

"Shut up!" Tsukuyo yelled, her face turning red. Several kunai slipped from her grip in her flustered state, all of which embedded themselves in Kawaki's head.

Thud...

Kawaki, now face down in the snow with his eyes rolling back, struggled to lift his head. Blood streamed from his forehead as he trembled and asked cautiously, "Did I say something I shouldn't have? Wh-why?"

"Ah, sorry." Tsukuyo walked over and squatted to pull the kunai from Kawaki's head. "I got a bit careless..."

"Your carelessness is... terrifying." Kawaki mumbled. "You carelessly shoot out dangerous things, carelessly taking away someone's most important life..."

...

Meanwhile, with heavy bags under his eyes, Shige Shige arrived at Yoshiwara at dawn, accompanied by Matsudaira.

"My apologies..." Hinowa smiled apologetically. "Kawaki-san just left."

"Left?" Shige Shige asked, puzzled. "What do you mean by left?"

"It's just a leisure trip," Hinowa explained with a gentle smile. "But I didn't expect that child to consider that man so much, secretly arranging this trip for him."

"Why did they leave me behind?!" Seita, dressed in his dojo apprentice uniform, grumbled as he swung his practice bamboo sword. "And why do I still have to practice at the dojo? I want to go skiing too! It's so unfair! Adults are so sneaky! Sneaky!"

"Seita, just three more hours, and then you can rest for five minutes," Hinowa encouraged with a smile, waving her fist. "Hang in there!"

"Ah—! It's so frustrating—! I'm so angry!" Seita yelled as he continued swinging his bamboo sword.

"Skiing, huh..." Shige Shige mumbled, looking at the falling snow. He turned back to Hinowa with a polite smile. "Well then, I'll be on my way."

...

Outside the gate of Yoshiwara, before Shige Shige could speak, Matsudaira spoke first.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this." Matsudaira kept his hands in his coat pockets, speaking slowly. "And don't look so disappointed. All men end up like this someday. Although for you... it is a bit early. At your age, you're already catching up to us older men..."

"Katakuriko," Shige Shige began, ignoring the comment, "About that skiing trip... could I trouble you one more time?"

"Huh?" Matsudaira blinked, his small eyes behind the sunglasses glancing at Shige Shige. Seeing the slightly soft expression on Shige Shige's face, he sighed quietly. "Well, if it's your request, I suppose this old man can make another trip. It's a good excuse to give those boys a break anyway..."

...

Shinsengumi headquarters.

"Huh? A leisure trip?" Hijikata, leaning against the door, turned his head to look at Kondo sitting inside by the kotatsu.

"Yeah," Kondo nodded thoughtfully. 'In this cold weather, the ronin must be hibernating. We should go skiing to boost morale,' Matsudaira said.

"What's gotten into him?" Hijikata muttered, cigarette in his mouth, hands in his pockets. "We can't just leave Edo unattended to go play. Besides, that old man usually tells us to 'crawl to work if we have to.' This is suspicious."

"You're overthinking it," Okita spoke up from the kotatsu. "We've been working non-stop since we joined the show. If we let our spirits rot, we won't be able to accept kindness from others."

"People with rotting souls have no right to talk," Hijikata retorted.

"If you're worried about Edo..." Okita suggested, "We can split into Kondo's group and Hijikata's group. One group can stay behind. If it's Hijikata-san, he can protect Edo alone."

Hijikata instantly retorted, "Why does Hijikata's group consist only of Hijikata-san? And why am I the one left behind?"

"Let's all go," Okita suggested, looking at Kondo, deep in thought. "Even monkeys hibernate."

"I'm not a monkey..." Kondo began peeling an orange, oblivious to the gun barrel that had appeared beside him.

Bang! With a single gunshot, Kondo collapsed to the floor. Hijikata shouted, "K-Kondo-san!"

"If you don't want to hibernate, you'll sleep here forever." Matsudaira, the shooter holding a cigarette, spoke. "A beast that doesn't let its fangs rest won't survive the winter."

"M-Matsudaira-san!" Hijikata finally noticed the shooter.

"If you were alone, Kondo," Matsudaira continued, "But you're the leader of a tribe."

During Matsudaira's speech, Kondo slowly got up, biting into the orange shot through. His eyes were wide, and his face still showed lingering fear.

"T-That was close!!" Kondo mumbled through a mouthful of orange.

"Your decision could make your tribe disappear into the snow. If you still want to charge forward with such fragile fangs, I'll break them here."

Matsudaira aimed the gun at Kondo's head again.

"Do you want to see tomorrow? If not, I'll blow your head off. One..."

Bang! Ducking to the ground, Kondo shouted, "What about two and three?!"

"Who knows those numbers?" Matsudaira smirked disdainfully. "A man only needs to remember one to survive."

Taking a step forward, Matsudaira pointed the gun at Hijikata. "Hey, Hijikata, what are you going to do? Rest or die? Choose quickly!"

Hijikata, unfazed by the gun aimed at him, replied, "I'll stay. Someone needs to clean up after Kondo."

"No, you need to rest too." Matsudaira pulled the trigger again.

Hijikata casually dodged the bullet, which hit the door frame. He muttered, "Just how badly do you want us to rest?"

Matsudaira stepped forward, pressing the gun to Hijikata's forehead. "I'm just worried about you! No other reason!"

Sitting by the kotatsu, Okita watched the scene with bean-shaped eyes, his face expressionless. He thought, "Shoot him! Shoot him! Just shoot already!"

"I really can't see your concern..." Hijikata muttered, looking at Matsudaira.

"Alright! It's decided! Everyone will join! Get ready!" Matsudaira decided for everyone.

"Great~ You're still awesome, old man~" Okita praised.

"Ah—" Matsudaira suddenly remembered something. "There's someone who wants to join your trip. It's not someone you need to worry about. Just take care of them."

...

Elsewhere.

"Achoo!" Kawaki sneezed, wearing his winter coat and tying a thick scarf around his neck. Sniffling, he looked disdainful. "What were you thinking? Why a skiing trip for leisure? Couldn't we have chosen a hot spring or something?"

"Are you sure you want to go to a hot spring?" Tsukuyo glanced at the excited Hyakka girls and then back at Kawaki. "We can, but if anything goes wrong, I'm not responsible."

After a long silence, Kawaki squinted and smiled. "You're right. Skiing is pretty good too. When it comes to winter, skiing is the best. Everyone, are you ready?"

"OK!" the Hyakka girls replied in unison.

"Alright then, pair up in twos... and take the cable car!" Kawaki shouted, then turned to the Hyakka girls, who had already started fighting over partners. "And... no fighting!"

The Hyakka girls stopped their brawling.

"Honestly, organizing a leisure trip for your subordinates, you'd better put more effort into it," Kawaki said with an exasperated sigh.

"Get on already," Tsukuyo said, turning to board the cable car that had just arrived.

"Alright, I'll..." Kawaki started to follow but was quickly pulled back by the Hyakka girls.

"Kawaki-sama, pair with me!"

"No, pair with me!"

"Everyone move! Kawaki-sama obviously wants to pair with me!"

"Move aside! I just watched a romantic skiing movie yesterday, and today is my chance to practice it! Kawaki-sama, if there's an avalanche, I'll use my body to keep you warm!"

"Let go of Kawaki-sama! I'm the one who should keep him warm! I'll take care of everything!"

"It's me!"

"It's me!"

"It's me!"

Watching the Hyakka girls start fighting again, Kawaki squinted his eyes and, after a moment of silence, turned to the slightly shorter, quiet Hyakka member. "Um, let's pair up. They won't stop until they settle this."

"Kawaki-sama..." the young Hyakka girl hesitated and replied softly, "I... I'm still young. It will take a few more years before I can... you know."

"Huh?" Kawaki's expression turned blank again.

"But!" the girl quickly added, "If Kawaki-sama really wants to, I... I will endure it!"

"Do I look like that kind of person?!" Kawaki yelled, veins popping on his forehead. "Absolutely not! I would never cross that line! What have they been teaching you?! Why would you even think of such things?!"

Turning away, Kawaki crossed his arms and spat in frustration. "Really, Tsukuyo, what are you thinking, sneaking off alone. They're not even my subordinates..."

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!